Reading the Daily Mail Causes Alzheimer’s!

[BPSDB]Reading the Daily Mail could cause Alzheimer’s according to uninformed speculation by Baroness Brownfield of Gobshite.

“Reading stuff influences how you think. I think it’s caused by the brain being rewired. I haven’t done any research to support this because evidence and logic are all part of the outdated Western patriarchal paradigm. You have to take my word for it because I AM A SCIENTIST!”

After pausing to wipe the froth from her mouth, she continued:

“Quite often when people start reading the Daily Mail they are quite reasonable but after a while they start believing all kinds of things such as all teenagers are getting pregnant to get council flats when they aren’t donning hoodies and mugging grannies. Pretty soon they start believing that AIDS is spread by refugees and all Muslims are fully paid up members of Al-Quaida allied with atheists to suppress Christians.”

“You have to take my word for it that reading the Daily Mail is the cause of this. To prevent the entire population going senile we have to ban the Daily Mail immediately and shoot Paul Dacre. I am the Professor of Public Understanding of Science so I know what I am talking about. Anybody who disagrees with me is a male chauvanist sexist pig.”

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5 Responses to “Reading the Daily Mail Causes Alzheimer’s!”

  1. Neuromancer Says:

    and they are on sale in shops where children can easly be infected the horror the horror

  2. Warhelmet Says:

    A lot of people die on the toilet. Elvis did.

  3. Bob O'H Says:

    Whatever the quality of the reasoning, the remedy sounds good to me.

  4. Teek Says:

    @ Bob O’H: true that…!!

    made me smile first thing on a monday morning, thanks :-)

  5. colin Says:

    I read the daily mail once and may have oh i forgot………What was I saying.

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