December always seems to bring out the self-righteous and self-satisfied out in force. Take this gem from the letters page of today’s Metro, for example:-
In these times of heightened religious inspection and introspection, I find myself faced with several issues of intellectual clarity and integrity. Is it not fair to ask all atheists to refrain from participating in all aspects of Christmas? Equally, given that December 25 is of no significance within the atheist calender, should they not ask for the restoration of their denied right to work on that date?
E. Mathieson, North Yorkshire
I can assure Master Mathieson that I for one will not be celebrating Christmas – I shall be eating all manner of goodies, boozing, slobbing in front of the television, or horizontal jogging with Mrs Aitch. Christians assure me that all of the above are not what Christmas is about. Furthermore, I shall be sure to keep out of all churches, chapels, cathedrals and other places where the Christians worship their foreign God.
I was not aware of the ‘Atheist Calender’ but now that Master Mathieson has brought it to my attention I propose that it contain the following holidays:-
Winterval. This will stretch from the Solistice (December 21) until the end of the Scottish Hogmanay (January 2). We will continue to have the entirely secular May Day, Spring Bank Holiday and August Bank Holiday. Furthermore, we will celebrate Dawkins’ Birthday and Enlightenment Day (On the anniversary of the publication of The God Delusion.
As Christians, Master Mathieson and his ilk will of course be allowed Christmas Day, Good Friday and Easter Monday. They will not wish to participate in the nasty secular holidays of us atheists. Furthermore, they will of course labour six days per week and spend the Sabbath in Church as their god requires.